Chopsticks
by Cadaver's Kiss
Summary: Naruto coulda sworn that his chopsticks were right there at his elbow. SasuNaru, NaruSasu


Summary - Rated because I can't trust myself with what i'll suddenly blurt out. e.e SusukexNaruto Oneshot. / Naruto coulda sworn that his chopsticks had been right at his elbow. Possibly Sasuke could find out where they'd gone?

Pairing - SasukeNaruto. As said in summary.

Warnings - Yaoi/Shounen-Ai(male on male action, dearies) , Nerd's attempt at humor, stolen chopsticks

Alright, this is my first story, not to mention being written with Notepad, because I can't find Microsoft Word anywhere on my computer. So..if the spacing is funky, throw a rock at the sidewalk or something. As I mentioned earlier, first story. The characters may be a tiny bit OOC, but that might be because i'm doing my best to incorporate humor. Please, I need CONSTRUCTIVE critisism. Anything else will be digested with pleasure. Thank you.

**Chopsticks**

Now, he could have sworn to himself that his chopsticks had been right at his elbow when he'd ordered his ramen. Now that the blessed food (Lifeblood!) had arrived, they were nowhere in sight. Where they expecting him to just plow his face into the bowl and slurp while the liquid burned and scarred his face into utter in-recognition? Because, for ramen, he'd happily sacrifice that. Not like his looks were somethin' special anyway. Not when compared to the Food Of Gods!

Sasuke watched Naruto's blonde skull swerve back and forth, obviously searching for something. He bit back a smug smirk. Between his fingers and placed ingeniously under the counter, where Naruto's chopsticks. His reckoning was that if he hid the Kyuubi's eating utensils from him, the blonde wouldn't be able to eat without causing himself injury, and therefore would turn to Sasuke for 'rescue'. Sasuke would sweep him off his feet and sprint gallantly away from Ichiraku, Naruto held snugly in his arms like a bride while the Uchiha lept off towards his home to ravish the blonde senseless, and then some.

Oh yeah, he had it all planned out.

You see, Sasuke was obsessed with his teammate. The dark-haired boy was head over heels in...love? lust?... with the Kyuubi-vessel. He'd long ago accepted that females just weren't his thing. Afterall, wouldn't you be turned off from females if they constantly threw themselves at you, offering all that they had, pushing their love at him, their LIVES put in his hands. Honestly, it'd freaked him out a little, so, well, he was on a whole new leg of the Race of Life. And, maybe later, he'd have Naruto's leg entertwined with -

"Sasuke!"

Exactly. Hey..wait..

Naruto waved a hand in front of his teammate's face, grinning like a moron, spikes of blonde hair flopping over in his eyes. He'd been doing this for the past three minutes, ever since he'd noticed that his buddy-ol-pal-o-friend was being quieter and more anti-social than usual. He had a spaced-out look in his eyes and a (this is what scared Naruto the most) dopey smile on his face, which was tinged a light pink. Kinda like Kakashi-sensei's whenever he saw Iruka-sensei bend over to pick something up. Honestly, Naruto didn't understand what was so good about Iruka-sensei bending over to retrieve something from the ground.. but, hey, maybe those books rotted the Jounin's brain. "Sasuuuuuuuke!" He called again, laughing when his fellow genin emitted a startled snort of surprise and nearly smacked his forehead onto Naruto's palm in the process. Naruto stifled a giggle. He really enjoyed time with his friend. Okay, maybe 'enjoyed' was an understatement. He LOVED his time with his friend.

Sasuke had managed to completely take his interest captive, tote it away in a sack, lock it up in a cage, and taunt it with raunchy comments. Naruto's Interest was in heaven. Alright, the boy had to admit - he -liked- his friend. He had a -crush- on him. Such girly terms pinged about in his brain almost annoyingly. Really, girls were a total turn-off. They giggled too much. They fluttered eyelashes. They wore SKIRTS. Well...he wouldn't mind seeing Sasuke in a skirt. From what he'd seen from just Sasuke wearing his normal shorts, he thought that the Uchiha had rather nice legs. Hehehe.

Oh, oh, oh no! Sasuke, the very object of Naruto's captive Interest, was gazing expectedly at him now. Err...that was too bad. Naruto'd forgotten what he'd been trying to say, having fought off the mental image that was Sasuke in a short, pleated, school-girl's skirt, long, muscled thighs, leading into curved, lithe calves, all coming down from slender, tempting hips.

To be completely honest, Sasuke was a trifle worried about the trail of drool that was currently spanning from the corner of Naruto's mouth to the floor. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for the blonde to speak to him. His patience lasted a good thirty seconds.

"Yes, dobe?" Naruto bristled at the address, before swiping away the drool and glaring. "I was gonna ask if...hey. Are those my chopsticks?" Sasuke glanced at where the implements rested in his lap, seemingly innocent. He wondered how they got there. Naruto had similar thoughts as he reached out to take them. Sasuke tensed, eyes widening a fraction, didn't move.

Didn't. Breathe.

Naruto, having received his chopsticks, turned around to eat happily. Five seconds later, he was reduced to whining about how his ramen had gone cold, and now it was making his stomach cold, and...what was Sasuke doing? The Kyuubi slowly craned his head about, eyes wide as he gazed at his friend in confusion. "I'll be wanting those back." The Uchiha said simply, and promptly plucked the chopsticks from Naruto's grasp. "And, if you're so upset about being cold, i'll warm you up."

Yeah, that's it, Sasuke. Speak with double meanings, and he won't get your point. He wasn't really sure if he wanted Naruto to get his point or not - but he was tired of sitting there, gnawing his lip frantically, as Naruto moaned and purred as he slurped down ramen, sighing contentedly in his throat, leaving a very distressed Uchiha to hurry off to the washroom with a bit of a waddle in his gait.

So, Sasuke was 'pleasantly' surprised when Naruto attached himself to his back, cheering. The Uchiha resisted the urge to glare at the people around them, staring. The Resistance only held up a good three seconds, before the Almighty Death Glare of Death by Glaring broke free, silencing their muttered chatter effectively. "Sasuke's gonna buy me more ramen!" Came the ecstatic roar of Konoha's Loudest Ninja. Sasuke promptly pried his friend off of him. Noooooo! That wasn't what he'd meant AT ALL. With a pained groan, the Uchiha left he building, leaving behind a puzzled Naruto. Never again. Never again would he insinuate something to Naruto. He'd probably twist it to fit ramen or some other food somehow.

So, for now, the Mighty Sasuke was going home to pout.

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Alright, that sucked, I'll admit it! But, hey, it was written with absolutely no plot in mind. Just my mindless babbling. Not really anything steamy happening, except for both boy's imaginations. Heh. So, review nicely, please. Because if you scorn me I don't think I'll ever find the courage to write ever ever again. -flops over onto floor-


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